{"id":2502,"date":"2021-02-08T16:24:38","date_gmt":"2021-02-08T16:24:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/?p=2502"},"modified":"2025-07-31T11:02:46","modified_gmt":"2025-07-31T11:02:46","slug":"childhood-fears-should-i-act-or-wait-for-them-to-disappear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psicologiainfantilmallorca.com\/english\/childhood-fears-should-i-act-or-wait-for-them-to-disappear\/","title":{"rendered":"CHILDHOOD FEARS. SHOULD I ACT OR WAIT FOR THEM TO DISAPPEAR?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We all have fears,\nand this also applies to the youngest members of the family. Fear is considered\na basic reaction for human functioning and development, as it helps us to\nprotect ourselves from dangers and allows us to adapt to a great number of\nsituations. In children this is even more true, being many of these fears\ntransient. However, sometimes we may wonder if the fear they have is normal or\nnot. Questions such as &#8220;Should I do something to try to solve this problem\nor will it disappear with time?&#8221; are very common among parents, especially\nfirst-time parents. To answers these questions, we must first know that there exist\ndevelopmental fears, specific to each stage of development, and fears\nconsidered dysfunctional or &#8220;pathological&#8221;, such as phobias. But how\ncan we know if our child\u2019s fear is a normal fear or could be considered a\nphobia? In this article you will find indications that can help you to\ndistinguish them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Normal childhood\nfears<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to\nseveral authors, <strong>normal childhood fears<\/strong> are transitory, are linked to\ncertain developmental stages and do not interfere in the child&#8217;s daily life.\nThe role of these fears is important because they can help the children to\navoid important dangers and can be useful for the acquisition of skills to face\nstressful life situations. They are, therefore, adaptive for the child.\nEmpirical evidence shows that the most frequent normal fears shared by children\nat each stage are the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>First\nyear (0 &#8211; 12 months): during the first part of this stage, babies are usually\nafraid of sudden loss of support and loud noises. Later, when they learn to\ndiscriminate between familiar and unfamiliar stimuli, they often develop fear\nof strangers. This fear may be reflected in withdrawal behaviours from\nstrangers and constant searching for the parental figures.<\/li><li>Early\nchildhood (1 &#8211; 2.5 years): fear of separation from parents increases and fear\nof strange companions appears. Fears of storms, the sea and small animals are\nalso frequent. <\/li><li>Preschool\n(2.5 &#8211; 6 years): fear of the dark, of being alone and of animals are common at\nthis stage, as well as the fear of imaginary beings, such as ghosts or monsters.<\/li><li>Middle\nchildhood (6 &#8211; 11 years): there is an increase of fears related to supernatural\nevents, physical harm, and blood-injury-injection situations. There is also a\npredominance of fears related to health and death, and school (social aspects,\nclassmates, academic performance, etc.).<\/li><li>Early\nadolescence (11 &#8211; 13 years): social and school fears become more and more relevant.\nEconomic and political fears emerge, as well as those related to self-concept\n(personal image, self-esteem, etc.).<\/li><li>Adolescence\n(13 &#8211; 18 years): the fears of the early-adolescence stage continue its course\nbut fears about self-concept and interpersonal relationships (with friends,\npeople of the opposite sex, etc.) particularly increase.&nbsp; <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/english\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/imagen2.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2667\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to manage normal\nchildhood fears:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In general, these\nfears are not usually the aim of psychological attention, as they tend to\nsubside over time due to factors such as neurological maturation, the\ndevelopment of the child\u2019s cognitive abilities, and the natural exposure to the\nfeared stimuli that helps to learn coping strategies. The main task of the\ncaregivers is to provide knowledge and support to the child so that he can\nexpose to these fears progressively and overcome them. Thus, he will learn\nwhich fears are dangerous and which are not, and how he should behave in\nfearful situations. All this will help the child to adequately overcome his\nfear and will strength his self-esteem and capacity of emotional regulation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What can we do to\nhelp the child to overcome these fears?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>First,\ncalm him down. Thanks to the established bond between parents and children, the\nsimple presence of the former will calm the child down. <\/li><li>Show\naffection and unconditional protection, in both verbal and non-verbal ways\n(hugging, holding hands, bending down to be at the same height, etc.).<\/li><li>It\nis important to accompany the child, providing security and validating the\nemotions that he is feeling. In this sense, it is not appropriate to\n&#8220;tease&#8221; the child or get angry with him for being afraid. Instead,\ntry to understand his emotions and allow him to express them. We should not say\nexpressions such as &#8220;so big and you are still afraid?&#8221; or &#8220;I\ndon&#8217;t care if you are afraid, go to bed&#8221;.<\/li><li>Explain\nwhat the fear is, how it manifests itself and what it is used for. We must try\nto adapt our language to the current child&#8217;s cognitive level. <\/li><li>Tell\nhim, using an empathic attitude, that it is normal to be afraid and that we\nknow how difficult it is, but that we are sure that he can overcome his fear.<\/li><li>Revealing\nthat we have also felt this fear or others, when we were small, can be very\nuseful for the child to feel comprehended and realize that it is something that\ncan be managed. <\/li><li>Many\ntimes, it is enough to encourage the child not to avoid the feared situation,\naccompanying him, and wait for the fear to follow its developmental course and\ndisappear.<\/li><li>If\nwe believe that the fear is spreading too much in time, we can encourage him to\nprogressively face what he is afraid of, so that he experiences on his own that\nthe feared consequence does not happen. At the beginning, we can accompany him to\ngive him more security, always adopting an empathic attitude, calmly and\nwithout pressuring. Subsequently and progressively, we will have to encourage\nhis autonomy so that he can face it on his own. <\/li><li>Reinforce\nhim positively every time he tries to expose himself to the fear, even if he\ndoes not succeed completely (for example, staying in the dark). Our reinforcement\nwill the probability that he will want to try again.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, we mistakenly\nthink that we must protect children from anything that scares them. If we do\nthis, the child will always avoid what he fears. Therefore, he will not realize\nthat he can face those situations and that the feared consequences do not\nhappen.&nbsp; We will also teach him that\navoidance is the best way to face the things that we fear, so it is likely that\nhe will maintain that fear and will develop others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Childhood phobias<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Unlike normal\nchildhood fears, <strong>phobias<\/strong> are fears that can be maintained for many years\n(even until adulthood) and can interfere and generate problems in different\nareas of the child&#8217;s life. A fear can be categorized as a phobia when it\ngenerates significant discomfort and\/or negative repercussions in one or more\nareas of the personal life. Let us think of a child who takes 2 hours to come\nfrom school instead of the 10 minutes-walk distance, because he avoids all the\nstreets where finds a dog because he is terrified by them. In addition to the felt\ndiscomfort every time he runs into a dog, probably this behaviour generates\nother problems at the family level (he cannot eat at the same time as the rest\nof the family) or at the school level (he does not have enough time to do his\nhomework or to attend extracurricular activities). This child has learned that\nthe only way to alleviate this discomfort is avoiding what he fears. This\npattern of avoidance does not allow the fear to be disproved and contributes to\nmaintain it over time, turning it into a phobia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In general, childhood phobias affect girls more than boys, both in number of cases and intensity of symptoms. Each type of phobia has prototypical onset ages. For example, animal phobia usually develops around age 7, while blood phobia starts around age 9 and <a href=\"https:\/\/psicologiainfantilmallorca.com\/english\/social-phobia-in-adolescents-and-children\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">social phobia<\/a> around age 16. In some cases, children are not aware that their fears are irrational and sometimes do not show discomfort, so they do not always ask for help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>When should I seek\nprofessional help?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The\nfear has been maintained for a long time and\/or is increasing.<\/li><li>The\nchild constantly avoids some stimuli or situations related to what he is afraid\nof or reacts to them in a disproportionate way. <\/li><li>It\ngenerates significant discomfort for the child or interferes in one or more\nareas of his life (school, family, interpersonal relationships, etc.).<\/li><li>The\nchild is performing certain rituals to reduce the anxiety caused by a stimulus\nor situation (for example, washing hands in a certain way to avoid spreading\nany disease, stepping only on certain parts of the street to avoid something\nbad happening to a family member, etc.). <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If after reading\nthis article, you still have doubts about whether your child&#8217;s fear is normal or\nmay be &#8220;pathological&#8221;, or you do not know how to act, you can request\na session with one of our professionals to guide you in this process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Aina Fiol Veny (B-02615)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all have fears, and this also applies to the youngest members of the family. Fear is considered a basic reaction for human functioning and development, as it helps us to protect ourselves from dangers and allows us to adapt to a great number of situations. In children this is even more true, being many&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2503,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,54,53],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-crianza","category-emociones"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>CHILDHOOD FEARS. 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